You can tell a dad from a mile off. Line up 5 men ’police line up style’ and a trained eye could pick out the dads in an instant.
So what gives them away? What ‘faux pas’ have they made in their styling to alert the likes of me to their status as ’Dad’.
Well, it’s not just ‘one thing’, there’s no one item alone to give the game away, it really depends on where they are in the journey…
The ’new dad’:
This one on the face of things this one is pretty similar to any other bloke but careful examination of his shoulders is the way to go here. Every item of clothing he owns will have tiny spittle stains in the shoulders.
The ’stay at home dad’:
Being a stay at home dad myself I can tell you that generally ’this one has just given up’, the term ’style’ has be replaced by the term ’comfort’. Look out for faded t-shirts, comfy runners, cargo shorts and hoodies (but not trendy hoodies, ones that should have gone in the bin years ago). Think teenager but way too old.
The ’hen pecked dad’:
They’re a hard one to spot. Their outfit is too prestine, functional but stylish. Why you may ask? Well because their wife has purchased it and basically laid it out for them to wear. Next time you’re out and about in a crowd have a look around, you’re sure to spot one or two, now you know the score that is. Think fashionable children clothes, but in adult sizes (or people dressed head to toe in the same outfits as the mannequins you see in shop windows).
The ’embarrassing dad’:
This one is a classic. They’ve grown through the new dad phase, done the whole ’cargo shorts’ thing and have reached the stage in life where not only do they not care about what they wear, they go out of their way to wear items to embarrass their kids, items to look out for: Novelty hats (or socks or ties), key chains that hang from their belts and those really bad christmas style kitted jumpers worn at any time of the year.
The ’socks and sandles dad’:
A dispicible creature, but nevertheless he’s worth a mention. He does ’exactly what it says on the tin’. I know, I know, it’s technically just a combination of items worn together not a classification of dad but hey, it’s so horrendous it needs it’s own category. A warning to all ’embarrassing dads’ out there, its very easy to over step the mark and find yourself here.
The ’working dad’:
This dad comes in two different distinct outfits; his work clothes (be it a suit, uniform or ‘dad style’ business casual) and his ’home outfit’. Yes, he probably only has 1. The same weekend clothes that appear without fail when not in his ’work clothes’. He’s difficult beast to spot on just one occasion but the more you meet him the more it will become clear.
Is he wearing the same thing again?
Yes, that’s his weekend clothes
So as a dad, what can you do?
You obviously dont have the time, or patience, to shop? And you obviously don’t want to become the ’hen pecked dad’ (waking in the morning to find impeccably matching clothes laid out for you by your wife) and let’s not even get into the downward spiral that is ’the embarrassing dad’ because there’s only one way you’re going from there!!
Daddy Poppins orders you to get online and buy some new clothes. Online shopping allows you ’all the laziness of being a dad’ without having to look like one 🤣. You can find some great stuff out there, like this Napapijri range.
You don’t need to be a ‘style slob’ if you’re a dad so do yourself a favour and sort it out.
If nothing else it will make my ’dad spotting’ game more more interesting.
*This is a collaborative post.