Miss-sold PPI: the ‘Perceived Parenting Ideology’?

Daddy Poppins says - “You could be entitled to compensation!! “
Daddy Poppins says – “You could be entitled to compensation!! “

Daddy Poppins sent out a warning to ‘happy young couples’ today, “Beware of those ‘selling’ you parenthood, all is not what it seems”.

 

How to recognise when you are being ‘sold to’… 

 

They say: “Have Kids”.

They mean: “We’re sleep deprived and miserable you should be too”.

 

They say: “It’ll be fun”.

They mean: “We’ve forgotten what real ‘fun’ is”.

 

They say: “They bring joy to your life”.

They mean: “You’ll remember the joyful moments because they’re permeated with shite”. (Literally, there’ll be faeces up the walls) 

 

They say: “You don’t know love till you have kids”

They mean: “Join our ‘family pyramid scheme’”. (I mean, come on!! ‘they’ must be on commission)

 

They say: “Childbirth is a miracle”.

They mean: “It’s a miracle if you can look each other in the eye again after it”. 

 

They say: “It gets easier”.

They mean: “Sorry we didn’t tell you how bad the beginning was, you’d never have joined our club”

 

They say: “The second one is so much easier”.

They mean: “Why not have another, give us a laugh, it’s all we have these days”.

 

They say: “When are they getting a little brother or sister?”

They mean: “Upsale, Cha-Ching!! commission time!!” 

 

They say: “The second can’t be as bad as the first”.

They mean: “Double or quits eh?” (Sidenote: you don’t get to quit)

 

They say: “They’ll be sleeping through in no time”

They mean: “Hahaha your life is over!!”

 

They say: “3 is the same as 2”

They mean: “You’re f**ked now, just go with it”.

 

They say: “With 4 they practically raise themselves”.

They mean: “Are you still buying this crap? Ask them for the 3 digits on the back of their credit card and mother’s maiden name, Dennis, the gullible shits”.

 

Bottom line: ‘They’ have a lot to f**kin answer for. 

 

Daddy Poppins also warns that those caught up in PPI can find themselves trapped in a ‘Stockholm Syndrome Style Pyramid Scheme’. “It’s how this works”, he explained, “you get to the point were you just start telling other people it’s great!! Even though the bags under your eyes tell a different story”. “You’re kinda brainwashed into believing it, it’s ‘cult like’ for want of a better term”. 

“I’ve seen lovely people pretending life is great on Instagram and other social media formats and you can tell they are dead inside”, he added.  

 

So what can you do about it?

 

The issue of mis-sold Perceived Parenthood Ideology or PPI is very widespread in the western world, where targets or ‘marks’ are easily found. 

It came to light aroud 2011 that groups of ‘parental influencers’ (commonly referred to as ‘they’) in both Ireland and the UK had been pushing PPI to people who had ‘no need for it’ or ‘could not benefit from it’. These previously happy, carefree couples have had to endure a faith you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy; bank accounts drained, romantic relationship obliterated, social lives destroyed, their privacy completely removed, sleep and ‘lie-ins’ decimated and emotional well-being completely annihilated.

 

If you feel you have been (or are currently being) miss sold parenting by an individual or group then you could be entitled to compensation.

 

Contact Daddy Poppins Brokers* on 1800- YOURLIFEISOVER to be represented on a ‘No win no fee’ basis, now.

 

*Disclaimer: Daddy Poppins Brokers isn’t authorised and regulated by any Financial Conduct Authority (“FCA”), (in fact it’s just made up for the purpose of laughing at your choice to become a parent).

 

*Additional Disclaimer: I love my little rug rats but it’s closing in on 2am yet again and if they aren’t both asleep soon not even writing comedy blogs as a venting mechanism will prevent my fury at ‘them’ when I finally catch up with ‘them’.

 

 

35 thoughts on “Miss-sold PPI: the ‘Perceived Parenting Ideology’?

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  1. Pretty sure I got mis-sold in the beginning. It’s not so bad now, but there are still plenty of days where I’m like "this is not what it was meant to be like!"

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  2. Great stuff Benny … I do often look at the bleary-eyed, up all night sods telling me how great parenting is! It is … sometimes … it’s not great … a lot of times … it’s pure hell … too bloody often! Ah but we love the darling little head-wreckers, don’t we?

    Like

  3. Oh I’m so glad all that is over and both kids have moved away , wait my son is calling and wants to know why his son won’t listen to him and he has a baby on the way too , and my daughter has two with a third on the way , Hahaha life is Great ! I told them the next one will be easier 😂😂😂 I think you need three Daddypoppins !!! 👌🏻

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  4. I never definitely got mid-sold 5kids later hilarious I love this idea Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

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  5. This really made me smile, no one can explain what parenthood is like, and definitely remember getting the, "Have kids" from friends/relatives with children back in the day! #thesatsesh

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  6. Ha ha ha – this is bloody HILARIOUS. Must show my hubby it. I laughed out loud a LOT which was much needed after the parenting day I’ve had 😉 Thanks so much for linking this up to #thesatsesh

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    1. Nobody likes a wise guy, not even a female one.
      And I am childfree, too, but from me you will not hear that you brought this upon yourself. Or that you only have yourself to blame for this …
      No, from me you will only get an “Awwww, poor you” *with only a very small trace of smugness*

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha. Feel free to come and read my blog every week 😉. You don’t have to wait till I’m before you in a linky. It’s good to know people are getting a laugh out of them. I liked the hurricane one too. It’s one of my favourites. There’s one about flying with toddlers that I think you’d like on the site whenever you need another giggle.

      Like

  7. thesatsesh Dude, im all over this. I will not sell the concept, instead I tell the kids at school ‘travel the world and when you’re ready to settle…travel some more’ haha love the comparison.

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    1. Yup. I like your style. In Ireland you can enter college at 23 as a mature student with a paid grant. That’s 5-6 years to find yourself in Thailand or somewhere and decide what you really wanna do. Who knows when they’re 17?

      Like

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